IDIOT OF THE MONTH- JULY, 2005: “LUCI PAZ”
"Who dealt this mess?" we all ask ourselves, as we scamper, fruitlessly, from the pervasive stench that has fouled our nation, much like that which invariably results, ten hours after a visit to a 6th-street cheap curry house.
As is the case, in real life, no one will own up to creating such a foul load, and the crime goes unpunished, windows are opened, and we all hold our collective breath, until the air clears.
However, occasionally, someone steps to the fore, and declares, loudly, with a childlike stupidity that almost brings a tear to my eye, that they dropped that load, and they're PROUD OF IT.
I will be presenting letters from these courageous souls, monthly, here...
IDIOT OF THE MONTH- JULY, 2005: "LUCI PAZ"
Quoth Luci:
I saw you website and it reminded me of the day my mother and I were having the conversation about John Kerry. Most of the people were voting for John Kerry about war. That Bush is sending them there for no reason! Well most people don't know whats really going on. They do not know every top secret thing. Bush does though. People have none what so ever idea what is REALLY going on.Kerry doesn't even know. Some people are just wasting their time making Anti-Bush websites, shirts, etc. They should really think about politics before voting. Not just what they hear from a man.
I give this letter four brownshirts out of five!
If anyone ever wondered how an intelligent, cultured nation like Germany would sink into collective delusion, I refer them to Luci- ain't she fine?
I can Imagine Luci during the days of the Third Reich- we'd meet at a sidewalk cafe, and, over a plate of sausages, I'd say "hey- Luci- alla my jewish neighbors have suddenly been kicked out, and when I asked the local gestapo about it, they said it was an order from the Furher, himself- ain't that whack?"
But Luci would slap me back into reality- "Shut up, yo! Most people don't know whats really going on. They do not know every top secret thing. The Furher does though. Now just be quiet, and get that waiter to bring me some more red cabbage!"
"Top Secret thing"? The only top secret was that the war WAS BASED ON A LIE, YOU VACUOUS TOOL!
This is the most idiotic thing I've read in- well- a month. It barely matters that this was written by, in all likelihood, a ten-year-old who still wets her bed, during pre-pubescent night terrors featuring Bill O'Reilly's butt-stick and Glenn Beck's microphone- I've gotten more intelligent letters from preschoolers (yes- I have- there's still hope for america's youth.)
And, Luci's final admonition:
"They should really think about politics before voting"
Strange, I usually think of fat men popping balloons, before I vote.
Assuming Luci's actually a woman, the right wing should stand up and take notice. Once Van Sustren's facelift implodes, and Coulter's sex change op collapses in a horrific incident involving a MAC-10, a rosted chicken, and a baboon on cocaine, they're gonna need a new shill for their agenda- if you folks out there at Fox "News" wanna interview Luci in anticipation of her filling either of their slots, drop me a line!
Until next month...